Monday mornings. They can go one of three ways:

You hang around the water cooler for an extended period of time so that you can brag to your co-workers on what “a phenomenal time I had this weekend. Honestly, I could not have asked for better weather and I just packed it with so many fun activities” until you eventually get the point across: my weekend kicked your weekend’s ass.
You had a pretty good weekend, but …

It’s the end of an era tonight: the Hills series finale. If you don’t watch The Hills religiously, don’t worry: neither do I…neither do most people. That’s why it’s in its series finale. In fact, if you’ve watched one episode, essentially you’ve watched all 6 seasons of it. There are usually three plot lines per episode; here they are:

Where’s the largest war being waged in the world right now? The answer might surprise you. It’s actually being fought by 4 colonies of nearly a trillion Argentine ants across the state of California, where millions of ants are slaughtering each other each day. They are officially the coolest things ever.

Birthdays: they’re never as fun as you think they’re going to be. Actually, scratch that—they are a lot of fun, and I absolutely hate people that complain about birthdays. “Fine, we don’t have to celebrate your birthday if it’s really that much of an inconvenience to you. I can absolutely think of a better use of my hard earned $40 than chipping in for part of your Hibachi steak at Benihana’s.” (OK, poor example; there …

Hey California: it’s your turn to play the anti-incumbency game. Drum roll please…here are the much sought-after endorsements from Yours Truly for the California 2010 Primaries.

One thing that I’ve noticed more and more over the past few months on Virgin America is the sassiness level of their flight attendants. Just because you have your own TV show now doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole; I mean, it’s on the CW for crying out loud…

London, you’re on thin ice. No, I’m not talking about the decline in the pound or the financial impact on airlines due to the Volcano in Iceland. I’m talking about the two individuals that you introduced the world to this week: Wenlock and Mandeville. 798 days and counting…

Last week, Beau Biden was taken the hospital. No one seemed to care. But I did. Luckily, Beau was released yesterday with a healthy prognosis from his doctor. And, all together now: exhale… In celebration of his safe recovery, it seems only fitting that we revisit probably the best example of campaign propaganda I’ve ever seen.

You may know her as Lady Gaga. Conveniently, she was in an episode of MTV’s Boiling Point a few years ago. Spoiler altert: Gaga doesn’t make it the whole time.